While I respect your proven abilities as a pop culture forecaster, I have to take issue with your April 27, 2011 post, prediction#3. Mermaids, sadly enough, will not become the next big thing. While mermaids have a rich mythology and cinematic history, you sorely misunderstand the driving force behind major American trends: young preteen girls and, to a lesser extent, adolescent boys.
- Vampires- teenage girls- latent sexuality being expressed safely through the surrogate metaphor of sucking blood.
- Werewolves- really nice guys who become virile animals one time a month.
- Justin Beiber and the Jonas brothers- teenage girls- sexual fantasies who are rendered unthreatening by the wearing of abstinence rings and nonthreatening attitude toward authority.
- Zombies- adolescent boys- Mindless violence (literally).
Obsessions of pre-teen girl all are based around the blooming of sexuality that they are not ready to understand or accept. These fantasies are exciting, but not threatening. Even in Twilight, the vampire wouldn’t have sex until marriage.
Mermaids lack the requisite equipment to pique the sexual interest of teenage girls, literally. The physical differences of mermen come too close to straight up bestiality to really be a viable romantic fantasy. And, unlike vampires, werewolves, and pubescent singers, they cannot hide in plain sight where they could come into contact with any average teen girl on any average day. It is too far outside the realm of possibilities.
And, as for teenage boys… lets be honest, mermen are just too fruity to be a violence fantasy and mermaids are too vaginaless to be a sexual fantasy (outside of the fetishists... but, no judgment there!)
Also, as per point 1, I fully expect you to commit to your forecast and name your first born Blanche, whether girl or boy.
Sincerely,
The Specialest Bean
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