Tall, Dark, Handsome.
Timothy Olyphant. Hello! Hi! You are really hot! Pearce always is watching Justified, and I literally have no clue what is going on with the storyline, but I stick around cause this dude is often without shirt. I will bring your wood back to life! (get it?! reference to deadwood!?) O that was just crude and unladylike! I apologize. Anyway, when we hang out, Timmy is all like "hey, gimme back my shirt!" and I am all like NO! And then we trim his chest hair. Sigh. Swoon.
Brandon Routh. You are actually not too too hot, but I had a random sex dream about you, and so my feelings have changed. Why would I have a sex dream about this guy? Then again, why wouldn't I? It was one of those dreams where his name in the dream was something else but then when I woke I was like omg that was the superman guy! It must be because he is in some new retarded movie for which I recently saw a trailer. But it also must be because of those lovely greased up pectorals.
Clive Owen. You are a babe, and I am sad that I couldn't find an ubersexy picture of you without a shirt, showing off your sexy sexy manscape. You know this guy has incredible chest hair that you just want to get lost in.
Chris Evans. You are a cornball, but let's not kid ourselves, you are FINE! You have been in some unbearably bad movies, and that is unfortunate, because I try to watch them anyway just to get a glimpse of your sexy. Can you please fix that?
Paul Schneider. You are more of an "indie" type, and I dig it! Hottie!
Carrot Top..... NOT! OMG GROSSSSSSS! Carrot Top is like the rickroll of sexy men lists.
He is perhaps the curlygurl ginger version of Tommy Wiseau... They have the same melted face, the freakish, exploding steroid veins...the DRAMA and deep emotion! Also a love of awkward props (eg wiseau and his football/red dress/spoon pictures/etc and Carrot Top with... his prop comedy).
Or maybe they are the same person. It would actually make sense in a strange way. You're tearing me apart, Carrot Top.
SO we have 5 dreamboats, and 2 scarecrows. There you go.
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