Freaky Hairs

Let's get right down to business.  Pearce has a freaky, lone hair growing out of the anterior deltoid region of his left arm.  It is 3 inches long. (I just measured). 

He was really cranky about letting me do that, so we are lucky to get any photographic evidence at all!! And it's not like this hair is new or anything, it's been holding strong for well over a year.  It is robust and hardy, and it even leans toward the sun.  It's like an antenna or something; perhaps it undergoes photosynthesis.  The strange part is that it is so lonesome!  Sure he has his armpit nest just around the corner, but the anterior deltoid is pretty much a bare landscape besides this single strand. 

I added the red circle just in case you weren't seeing it. This isn't some wispy baby hair either.  This is a serious man hair.  Like I said, robust.

Why not just pull that sucker out, you may ask.  Pearce has actually threatened to leave me if I even tug with too much pressure on his precious follicle.  I don't want to put our relationship at risk in the name of epilation!

Even weirder, a few nights before our wedding, I had a dream that I had a really long eyebrow hair.  The morning of our wedding, I decided I should probably try to do something about my brows, so I got to work with the tweezers... and I was smoothing one of my brows out and it just kept going.  I literally had a 1-2 inch eyebrow hair- just like in my dream!! (1) How did I actually dream about this?!  I must have been subconsciously aware of it from previous attempts at grooming or something.  (2) HOW HAD I NEVER consciously noticed it before?!?!?!  To be fair, it was super thin and silky and basically clear. Not even remotely like the rest of my eyebrow hairs, but still!! It should have been floating down in front of my eye, it should have been somewhat obvious!!

My freaky eyebrow hair should have been obvious to me.

I pulled my freak hair out right away, since it had the double whammy creepiness of being predicted in a dream and being reminiscent of something cultivated on a grandfather.  I have no photographic evidence, and I did consider saving the actual plucked hair, but come on.  Who does that? 

So why would two seemingly normal, healthy people be growing these inexplicable hairs?  The first, and most obvious possibilities that come to mind:

1. Alien implants.  They must be using us to collect data about the earth,
2. Morgellons

Clearly.  Hairy business forever and ever!!