This might be slightly NSFW because of all that man meat, but HOLY CRAP. Are you seeing this guy? In case you were not yet aware, this is Michael Fassbender, and I will now try to convince you that he is hot. Believe it or not, some of my friends aren't into it! And on the one hand, I am all like more for me... when the Fassbender comes to town to let me have my one night of extramarital sexytime, I won't have to share him with any of you. But really? REALLY GUYS?
I think I first became aware of him slightly when he was in Inglorious Basterds, but I wasn't into it for some reason. Not sure why exactly, because look:
I think that he was certainly handsome, but I think I prefer a more scruffy Fassbender. Plus, that movie was loaded with hotties, so maybe he got overlooked. He was also very handsome in the X-Men movie, but I think I was too busy being annoyed at January Jones.
Then, I got around to watching the recent Jane Eyre movie, in which my beloved played Rochester and at which point I became a tiny bit obsessed. To be fair, he looks kinda weird in this movie because he has these ridiculous fluffy/patchy muttonchops, but that scene where Rochester proposes did me in in. Oof!
So basically, he is a really skilled actor, and he got to play a character that would make most girls swoon a little. I'm easy, what can I say. Also, Mia Wasikowska is awesome!!!
After that I felt compelled to try and see other movies involving Michael (first name basis, obvs). Next I watched Fish Tank. He is super fine in that movie, and there is really hot sexytime, but it is also with an under-aged girl, so it is confusing. Let's be honest. We all know it was just a movie, and I will take what I can get.
Then I watched A Dangererous Method, which I found to be pretty mediocre, and I even tried to watch Hex, a British TV show with the Fass wearing a lot of eyeliner, which was unbearable, so I stopped. I saw Haywire recently, and he has a small, but sexy/bad-ass part in that film, although we couldn't exactly figure out if Michael Douglas was a bad guy or not. Irrelevant. Fassbender still hot.
I have still not seen Shame because sometimes I get antsy about watching movies that I know are going to be emotionally harrowing, and so I put them off. Also, it's like delayed gratification for lots of depressing sex and full frontal nudity. Soon, soon. I am totally going to see Prometheus, in which the hotness plays a creepy, creepy robot. He is just a good actor, and he doesn't have to rely on his uber-sex-appeal in every role he plays, ok?!
Around the time that my obsession began, I found this AMAZING TUMBLR, Fuck Yeah Fassbender. Thank you, whoever you are that runs that, because it's my favorite. All Fassy, all the time. Let's look at some of my favorites:
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| I think he is trying to communicate to me that he wants me to take off his shirt for him. We understand each other like that and can communicate with just our eyes. |
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| Ahh why are you putting your clothes back on? OR are you taking them off? I will assume the latter. |
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| Ahh yes, perfect! Just as I suspected. |
I think the best part about Fassbender is that in real life, or in interviews at least, he seems to be a genuinely nice, thoughtful and funny dude. I appreciate that, and his laugh is hella sexy. Like oops-I-just-spontaneously-ovulated sexy. Also, some people believe that he looks like a shark.
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| This is Michael Fassbender acknowledging that yes, he has an enormous penis. |
