Likes and Dislikes

Suddenly I got really excited thinking about things I do like (obsessively) and things that make me insanely unhappy. So I thought it would be illuminating for both me and you, dear reader, to list them out. Maybe it will help me figure out my own personal mystery.

Likes.
I will begin with "food product likes" because I just got back from CVS and I got my 3 favorite foodish things, though they aren't really food at all:

• Flavored carbonated waters. They have no calories, no sodium, nothing but artificial deliciousness. They are like 50 cents a pop, for an entire liter! and they only come in liters! and if I start to drink one, I will drink it all, because I FREAKING LOVE IT. Then I will pee constantly.
  
• Wild cherry diet pepsi. While I am crazying over drinks, this is my #2. You get the caffiene and the delicious. And it has to be diet because I am certain I will someday get diabetes/be very fat.
• Gum. Has to be minty/bubbleminty. Like trident or orbits. OOoo now stride is rising in the ranks. AND I like to chew and smack really loudly, and blow bubbles and pop them. It drives Pearce CRAZY. But I can't stop, I love it sooo much.
• Avocados + salt + sesame ak mak= love
  

Ok, Activity and Miscellaneous Likes:

• Reading excellent fiction literature and science related things. It's sort of escapist I guess, but is there anything better than reading a good book? (besides good sex).
  
• Running/excercise. I'm not kidding, this is like my favorite thing. Some people hate working out but I am so addicted to it and I love it so much.
  
• Bargain Shopping (nordstrom rack, marshalls, H&M, secret places I can't mention, etc.) I used to work at Ross Dress for Less for crying out LOUD! I will find you the BEST bargains, come shop with me. The jew strikes again! I will also drive most shopping buddies insane. No one can handle my tolerance for the search. That is my favorite part. You look and look and then you find the goods, and you are victorious! Seriously, I've got me like 20 pairs of designer jeans, I've never paid more than 50$, but most are more maxing out at $40. And these are pants that should cost upwards of $150. I've got talent, it's scary, and expensive, even if it is cheap. Because you find a bargain, you have to get it. You can't say no. NEVER.
• Jeans. As I mentioned above, I have a ludicrous number of jeans. It's a ridiculous hobby that is totally silly and wastes lots of money. But I always get them for good prices! Honest!
  
• Shoes. Uch... my closet... so many shoes. SO MANY SHOES. let's not even go here actually.
  

• Art. espence
  
• Music! Mostly happy pop stuff and Radiohead. Yeah, happy pop and paranoia.
  
• Spider Solitaire, Most difficult setting.
• People who are strange. I like to have very strange people as friends because more interesting things happen that way. I am also fascinated by super obnoxious people that are hyper-self-aware but only in a really superficial way (as in they think they are the center of the universe), but don't seem to realize that they are total ass holes and no one really cares. I'm feeling too lazy to try to explain that any better. Plus, I bet I come off like that since I fell into the self-indulgent world of the blog!! AND EVEN WORSE, I'm listing out this stuff as if anyone else would care! HAHA Joke's on you!
• Project Runway!
• TI-89
  
• Scott Bakula

Dislikes.

• Sounds of loud squeaky things. e.g. styrofoam squeaking against it self, nails on chalkboard, scraping glass. Just thinking about it makes me want to puke. If I hear these sounds, the only way to calm my nerves is to drop a blanket or something... make soft sounds... chant the word PASTE over and over and over.
  
• Unfriendliness. I mean... what's the point?
• Lists of likes and dislikes
  
• IBS (especially in the middle of a run)
  
• PMS
• MTV
  
• Having the TV on when I am trying to sleep somewhere.
  
• Newsprint. Sometimes you get that ink on your hands and then you touch your eyes and then it's all over. You are blind for 3-8 days. Or it just hurts a lot.
• Allergies! Yeah, on the eyes thing, seasonal allergies suck. And I HATE THEM. The most pretty time of the year and my nose is dripping snot nonstop for a month and my eyes are exploding out of my head and my face is itching like fire ants. FUCK YOU ALLERGIES!!!
• Weird food allergies. Sometimes apples make me sick and nauseous. It's a real thing too! See, the pollen from other nearby plants get INTO the apple while it grows, so it is loaded with the pollen that my body can't handle, and then I feel like crap. Almonds make me itch and swell, the same with cherries. And these are foods I love so I eat them anyway!! And then my tongue and lips and gums will swell and itch. Cherries especially are so devious because I will eat them nonstop and then my lips get soo huge and itchy. Pretty hot.
• Certain movies... I don't know what you call this genre, but the movies like Meet the Parents where the lead character just does stupid things which lead to massive trouble over and over again. I can't watch it, it makes my skin crawl with disgust. What is that genre called? I must know so I can avoid it like the plague.
  
• Transparent and narrowminded people.
  
• Current President George Bush
• Blue tooth headsets
• Clogged shower drains.
  

O... hi!

In true awesome style, I am making post numero dos! And YOU are SOOO HAPPY!! So... I am in my apartment... the last few weeks before the lease is up. It's been 2 years! And the filth and crap I've accumulated are certainly going to be a pain to clean up and move. I wouldn't say I'm a hoarder, I'm just extremely lazy, and there is definitely a difference.

I have been re-perusing my copy of The Area of My Expertise by John Hodgman (a book I highly recommend to anyone with a sense of humor), and was considering to make this a website purely of lies! But of course, that would have to start at the third post, because I've already been too forthcoming with the truth here. At the same time, I could just sprinkle some lies in every so often, but then I was thinking that I don't have a very good grasp on lies versus truth... especially about things happening presently because events of the past can be so open to opinion and personal interpretation. It's not that I have no morals, it's that I have this deadly combination of a guilty conscience, extreme self doubt, and a background in mathematics and engineering. Allow me to explain:

1. Guilty Conscience: Though I ALWAYS try to do the right thing, I always feel like I am letting someone down, I always feel like things are my fault when in reality they are absolutely not. It's the jewish guilt, obviously. Because of this there is always a part of me that suspects that I am lying, even when I am not lying, and I know I am trying my hardest to be competely truthful.
   
2. Self Doubt: I constantly think I'm wrong and so that makes me think that when I say things that could potentially be matters of opinion, I am not being honest because my response is not correct. I think I have a problem recognizing the difference between lies and statements that are not 100% factual. It's really complicated and boring too.
3. Math & Engineering: In math there is only 1 correct answer, and every other answer is incorrect, unless it's like a plus/minus or an imaginary number thing, &tc., but you get my point. In engineering sometimes you fudge stuff because you quickly realize that you can't get math formulas to completely predict what happens in real life. And so sometimes engineering drives me nuts because it seems so ridiculous to have an exact numerical answer or whatever when there are these staggering margins of error...
   

OK! That was TOTALLY boring. Totally. So sorry!
Right!
As I was saying, John Hodgman is totally awesome. He has been a correspondent for the Daily Show, and now he does these commercials for Apple I think. Plus he wrote this astonishingly hilarious book which I highly recommend to you, as I mentioned earlier before my boring tangent. I wrote him an email because I wanted to play his recording of the 700 Hobo Names on the radio, and I thought that I might be breaking some sort of copyright infringement, but I played it anyway before he responded. But then he did write back, and it was super cool because it was almost like meeting a celebrity. Or not exactly at all, but I was pretty pleased about it. He might have been too because getting emails from me is almost the same as getting emails from celebrities. So I played those hobo names, not all 700 of course, but it was still pretty funny. And the other day, someone must have found the cd because it was sitting on the shelf in the studio.

Now I am going because I really want some iced coffee. Once not long ago I got the largest size of iced coffee offerred, and then I peed like 7 times in 2 hours. That might even be an understatement. I probably have the smallest bladder ever. Sometimes I won't drink for days because I get so sick of peeing. Pretty gross! That's me.

ciao

How silly!

This is me, with my satan hand, courtesy of Elliot.

It was way too easy to do this, and that is usually a bad sign because that means any idiot could worm her way in. Like me for instance. But yeah, usually hate it when you talk about the blog, the means of communication where you should just be communicating something.

I honestly have nothing to communicate though. At the moment at least. But maybe something exciting will happen and I will suddenly need to share it with everyone, potentially. Everyone being literally the potential EVERYONE. Or anyone, or no one. It all falls under that heading even if the direct meanings are opposites.

I will probably want to write about books, movies, music, fashion. Stressful things, rants, happiness, comedy, tragedy. Hair removal, bodily functions, cooking, adventures. I probably won't write very much. Or maybe I will depending on the boredom factor. I am used to the whole talking to no one thing because of my crappy radioshow which gets minimal listenership over the summer because it's (a) at the University and there aren't many students around and (b) broadcasting at only 10 Watts. DO you even know how weak that signal is!? That means you can hear the FM broadcast for about a 1 mile radius. Pathetic! And I can see how many people listen online, and that number is generally in the single digits these past weeks. So yeah, I am used to it!

What happens is this: I finally have stuff I need to be doing, and so instead of doing that I start a side project o' procrastination which I can use to avoid the other work. Brilliant! That way I will never be useful and it will take me many days to complete a task that should take only hours. Sigh.

But trust me, I have really awesome taste AND I am known to be hilarious and likeable. I bet I get celebrity status in like 4 weeks tops. A dream come true! (both for me and any potential readers and friends!) As you can see from this very flattering picture, I have exciting hair that has the potential to be HUGE, though I think I've got it under control. Actually, I can't take full credit for this, because Elaine used a comb to tease it up like that so we could do my hair for my Prince costume. It didn't just happen, but you know, I have to perpetuate the myth.

So I'm gonna go to bed now, but DEFINITELY bookmark this baby and come back to check because... well... umm.... my life is very... interesting? and you will enjoy reading the silly things I write and looking at my silly pictures and checking out the links I will collect and put here. It will be such a fun time! <3